A Rum Doo
Show me the way to th next whiskey bar, if we don't find the next whiskey bar I tell you we must die! - The Doors.
After Antigua,and the arrival of Matt, we went to have a look at Barbuda, Antigua's sister island. It has very few in habitants and fewer tourists. All centred at 2 resorts on the south end on the island. Cigarretts at $7.50US a packet ... No way. One resort was closed and the other almost empty. Lunch at the one that excepts yachties starts at $80Us dinner from $100. The beach to the north extends some 11Miles with nothing on it but my foot prints. Nice....And cheap, shopping involves a long dinghy ride ashore and then carrying th dinghy over the beach into the lagoon beyond, then 2 more miles across the lagoon to Codrington, the capital of the island (and only settlement). A taxi driver then offered us a tour to the highlands (altitude about 200ft). Nice. After several days in the area around Barbuda we returned to Antigua, took on water at St Johns, and sailed around to Falmouth harbour, just in time to receive some free rum. Next day we went back round to english harbour, then to another free rum party ......... And their was much rejoicing Antigua Race week is about to start and they keep giving out free rum. This causes people to put their foot in their mouth alarmingly often. Last night from 5 till seven it was free rum and mixers on a beach 100yards from the boat. OUCH. I found Sam asleep (paralytic) against a wall, and Rauni who gone looking for him lying on a bench with 2 concerned Americans poring ice over her face, doesn't seem to work on Finns, I guess there used to snow. They were also giving out free Mount gay rum hats. The allocation system was bizarre. Step one shout you boat name (or in my case someone else's boats name Sam had used Ramprasad's) the bloke then wrote it down. Then 5 minutes latter shout the name you just gave him (Dreamtime) and he crosses it off the list he just made and gives you tickets for 2 free hats. Then you queue for you hats. You can only get one hat so you must give one ticket to someone else. The list is not checked against a list of boats or harbour lists, and the whole process takes about half an hour (so you need to make sure someone is going and getting more free rum while your waiting. Why and how they came up with this system I can't even imagine, if you taken the boxes of hats and thrown them into the crowd the results would be the same and you'd get some good old fashioned roiting - not enough roiting in the wold today, VIVA LA REVOLUTION....and nab me a VCR while your at it. Any way, Dreamtime got 2 Mount gay hats Thank you very much Campbell and Skans for taking your boats name in vain. I would gladly give you a hat but as well as the hat giving there was a lot of hat stealing and hat losing. Mine was being worn over my big ausie hat, and at some point in the sacred "carrying of the skipper back to the boat " ritual some bastard nicked it.
The hat statistics:
- Total Crew 4
- Total hats taken ashore 3
- Additional hats gained ashore 4
- Total hats returned to the boat 3
- Number of original hats returning to the boat 1 (mine)
- Total new hats lost 2
- Total old hats recovered lying on the ground the next morning 1
- Total old hats recovered from the bin man's head next morning 1
- Over all hat total 5
- Total number of crew capable of caring 0
- Total number of crew capable of finding their back side with both hands 0
- Total crew who fell in the water 1
- Total weight of sand transferred from the beach to the boat and dinghy 4,578,234 Tons
Oh well. Antigua is a rip off, thankfully Matt is onboard, the friend who's cat I sail in England. He and his a credit card and bought us all breakfast. Last night he also did a kind of hand stand flip over a wall, daintily kicking the American man I borrowed to help carry Sam's beer out of his hand. Then landed slap on his bum! Soon afterwards in the dinghy I managed to ram the same yacht twice in the dinghy. Oops. Stupid place to put a yacht. After a night of serious debauchery one must be philosophical. How many angels can dance on the head of a pin? Well assuming angels exist in the first place it still seems a stupid question. I find it hard to imagine anyway. Angels in wings on fluffy clouds listening to celestial harmonies I can imagine, but getting down and boggieing to Pete Tongs Essential Ibiza anthems I think not. A much more use full question is how many demons in Dr Martin's best steel toecaped boots can stomp in an oceanhippies brain. This new, better, philosophical question has an answer "TOO B&%*$Y MANY" as for Schrödinger's cat, if it was me I wouldn't open the box at all, both the possible outcomes are awful. Either you've got a dead cat, which is smelly and no use. Or you've got a very pissed off moggie which isn't my cup of tea either. Better still leave the cat out of the box in the first place.