Know your enemy

A guide to spotting different types of long term or long distance cruising types.

Former, Current and future skippers

Please do not read this, no really don't......

Well since you've ignored me anyway, forgive me.... I'm only kidding!

Blue water cruiser

The blue water cruisers have raymarine integrated-gps-chartplotter-radar-teasmaid and every other gadget under the sun. These like all marine items break, since the BWCs have more of them they spend most of the time either waiting for spares or getting professionals to fix them. Most of these gadgets take electricity, all of them carry a washing machine. So they have a generator and watermaker too. So even more to go wrong. These gadgets free them from marinas, but if they actually used them they'd run out of fuel in 2 days so they use the marina anyway, the lights all dim throughout the island when they plug in.

Cruising Grounds: Anywhere with a fully equipped marina, a good chandeliers and a raymarine agent..
Treasured Possession: The Juipter Moon Cook Book (5 star recepies for yachts)
YachtTypes: Oyster, Halberg Rassy, Swan > 50ft
Spotting Tips: Stand outside any chandelry for an hour, the person who comes in twice in that time is a BWC.

A Weather Window

Yankee (or Appalachian American)

These can be found in groups around any harbor in the Caribbean, with the obligatory radio net. This set favour the long keel, the double ender and the clipper bow. They are are perpetually looking for a "weather window". A weather window is less than 15 knots for the entire planned passage. Since their favored boat has a top speed in this wind of 0.1 of a knot, and a weather forecast that low for that long never happens, they never actually go anywhere. It is, I suppose, possible that they are actually on passage, but dinghy ashore for a beer whilst their boat is plodding along. The yankee will always know a great deal about the harbor and country they're in. Despite this they always use an agent anyway and rarely leave the marina.

Cruising Grounds: < 1000Nm from the USA.
Treasured Possession: An in date Visa.
Yacht Types: Island Packets, long keelers and double enders, no spinnaker.
Spotting Tips: Come back a year later, the faces you recognize will be yankee's, or just turn the VHF on, the'll have a net.

Budget Marine

It is said that after a nuclear war the only survivors will be the cockroaches. I doubt nuclear war would stop a budget cruiser. This brand are the pinnacle of sailing evolution. Sailing is what they do. They can survive on less rice then a Viet Cong insurgent, don't work, are frequently single handed. They never enter marinas, their annual diesel supply can be carried in a single gerry can. They know absolutely everything and can fix any item on their boat for less than 50p.

Cruising Grounds: Anywhere from pole to pole on any and all navigable bodies of water and some duck ponds.
Treasured Possession: Wind Vane steering gear
yacht Types: Steel, Ferrocement or < 35 ft
Spotting Tips: Go to any spot offering free beer. Every yotty goes to happy hour, but the table with the bigest hoard at the end will be the budget marine table.
It-seemed-like-a-good-idea-at-the-time

In pubs, bars, sailing clubs and other alcohol serving establishments throughout the world, as you are reading this, normal well balanced nine to fivers are staring into a glass and thinking "I want to sail to...". These are not people who've been planning their life around crossing oceans. Many will be attempting to rent out houses, deal with banks, children, out of date car tax and other lubberly concerns from whatever odd corner of the globe they find themselves in..

Cruising Grounds: This depends on their start point and destination. They can be found only on a line drawn between the two.
Treasured Possession: This varies, but it will be of no use what so ever on a boat, will be bulky and be in the way, having be brought along in error. e.g, a karaoke machine.
Yacht Types: Any production cruiser < 50ft
Spotting Tips: People with frowns in Internet Cafes and telephone boxes holding important looking bills or paperwork. Look for the boat without a yellow or courtesy flag.

Cat Sailors in Action

Cat Sailor

Will have a boat name in some way cat related, e.g. "cat man do" or "top cat", "felix" at a pinch. The sails pitch at the boat show included the spacious roll proof saloon, but failed to mention that cats go downwind at a snails pace in say... the trade winds. If you invite one to your yacht he or she will look nervous (claustrophobia) and refuse food (sea sick in the anchorage). They suffer spit personality distorter, they want to go into the marina but don't want to pay the cat supplement.

Cruising Grounds: Anywhere without finger pontoons
Treasured Possession: Torn remains of a ParaSailor.
Yacht Types: Any thing with 2 or more hulls. Secretly they'd like 4.
Spotting Tips: Anchored 5ft from the beach (B******s!) you can't miss 'em.

Regatta

Every race boat owner dreams of some exotic location. No not the Isle of White, somewhere warm. Antigua week or the Kings cup in Thailand. Either that or they just figure that a flight to Antigua to sail every weekend is now cheaper than a Solent marina. So off they go, say good bye to their yacht club and toddle off to racing pastures new. They probably think they'll do better there too. they'll be carrying a minimum of 3 set of sails and a maximum of one gas bottle. Anchoring is archived by tieing the spinnaker sheets together and attaching a fish hook to the end.

Cruising Grounds: In between the UK and Antigua
Treasured Possession: Kevlar sails that chafe really quickly on swept back spreaders.
Yacht Types: Sidney's, X-Yachts, J boats - things with 3 or more spreaders and running back stays.
Spotting Tips: Look for large groups of matching polo shirts with an aggressive boat name embroidered on them.

"Scratch" (fast)

Inter Continental Ballistic Cruiser

An open sixty can be raced round the world by a single person, albeit an insane one. Very fast. Every now and then some manufacture takes the ideas used to design these and incorporates them in a cruiser. Hunters HC50 is the latest attempt. Its not out selling the Oyster just yet.. But there are a certain brand of cruisers who want to get there fast. Are prepared to buy an uncomfortable boat for a high price. Impatient people.(I want one.

Cruising Grounds: Marinas and harbours with more the 3.5 meters draft
Treasured Possession: Code zero and or water ballast.
Yacht Types: One offs (or prototypes never put into production).
Spotting Tips: Leave a harbour, pop your kite and fly it all night. The sarcastic bloke still in the bar when you left , now waiting on dock when you get in and asking "what kept you" is an ICBC.