Non readers of Terry Pratchett may not have come across the term Dwarf Bread. I think he was taking the piss out of the Fantacy/Science fiction plot tool system. Probably Tolkien's The Hobbit primarily. Almost all sci fi shows have "replicators" which produce food, fantasy books have waybread, or the Dwarves in the Hobbit "cram". Special bread that doesn't go off weighs nothing and gives a fully balanced diet. Allowing the protagonists to go on massive, extended quests with out having to deal with the bugbear of logistics.

A review of Iraq or Afghanistan's military problems will unearth an astonishing array of problems that authors can use this plot tool to safely ignore.

Note for Americans and other Aliens:
A Pot Noodle is an British instant snack
A plastic pot with a lid in which some
noodle like substance some dried peas
and flavourings lurk. Into which boiling
water is poured.  A choice of flavours is
available. To give an insight into the 
quality, the Beef and Tomato flavour is 
marked "Suitable for Vegetarians"
Could be anything in 'em, except Poodle

Terry Pratchett's rather clever take on Dwarf Bread is that you can walk for miles on it, mostly in the hope of finding something other than Dwarf Bread to eat. Kind of like a Not Poodle. Its amazing how much less hungry I feel if the only option is a Not Poodle. I'd be prepared to walk half way across middle earth rather than have to pot noodle.

Sauron's Kebab shop sounds attractive compared to a Not Poodle.

Remember many moons ago I said we had 400 beers on board. Nearly all gone now. Gone are the Balboas, the Sobernos(Sober? No!), all that's left is the one slab of the "King of Beers". Budweiser. Its piss. I mean I remember the comment from a Brewery tour in the UK "Its made from rice cos its cheaper and its crap" its true, it is made from rice, it tastes of nothing it is without doubt the worst slop I have ever tasted. It makes that bottle of peach schnapps with cigarette ends in it left over after a party seem an attractive bet. Its Dwarf Beer, it will slate your thirst across miles and miles of open ocean, in the hope that you can find something else. Sea water maybe?

Hinano Beer de Tahiti 

When I say its the worst slop in the world, well nobody really listens to that line. The xxxx in the world. You've never seen the world, you've only been to Scunthorpe and the East End. OK So I haven't been to the whole world. But I've been to 45 countries (or autonomous colonies or similar)  not counting Wales and Scotland, and I always try the local beer. Its the worst beer in a very significant portion of the world.

This is where the problem comes, Nuie's a small islands, the ships come in rarely, there's a bakery come pool hall, no brewery and the Yacht Clubs out of beer.

Thank God we've some Hinano left on board, not enough but some. They're a snip at about 5 times the price of the Budweiser.

Budweiser its shit

That's not really part of the post, its just a header that makes this page friendlier to google and the like.

Dear Budweiser Lawyer's, this page is NOT defamatory it is truthful. Your beer is truly dreadful. Please by all means complain to my ISP he'll probably agree with me, he might even be able to drink your foul brew (beer's off his menu cos if gluten I think), or take me to court. I'm convinced having tried your miserable excuse for a beverage that I am right. I'm pretty sure I can convince a jury that I am an expert on beer drinking, I've certain diligently practised.

Man that would be a hell of a court case. A thousands of Lagers, 12 of my peers and some glasses. It would make a hell of a youtube video too, the fight between the Judges on who gets too hear the case. Might not be able to prove the 45 countries thing though, I didn't bother to tell some of them I was there saving them time and pasport stamp ink.