I'm still in Alice, the problem with the van is fixed. Sort of.

 
The Hole

The problem was fuel was spraying out one of the injectors. All over the engine. Not good. This is Australia so this is petrol. The injectors are not what people like me would expect. They are electronic. High pressure fuel is supplied to them and then an electric pulse is sent to them by the ECU (engine control unit) to allow just the right amount of fuel at just the right time.

I'm used to boats where this is mechanical. The injector pump is driven off the engine and pumps the fuel direct to the injectors.

My engine which was running even with the fuel leak, now fires up immediately, thanks to the new o rings on the injectors, but wont run. To get at the injectors the throttle, and much of the air intake had to be dismantled. The hoses for the air intake are presumably 20 years old, and rubber (ish) pipes in the sort of heat you get in NT probably weren't as sprightly as I would have liked. And are now split. We think the engine fires, then gets no reading from the air flow sensor in the air intake and does the sums for air/fuel mixture and gives the answer no air = no fuel.

 For the scientists amongst you:
 let F = C * A 
where A is volume of air(l) 
F is volume of fuel(l)
 an C is a constant.
 If Air sensor reads zero CA is zero
So the engine needs no fuel. Doh.

Hopefully this is all it is. The garage is trying to locate one as I wait here.  The chief mechanic, presumably, concurs with this diagnosis. He phones up to instruct his staff and diagnose engines by their noise over the phone. He's in prison.

I've pretty much exhausted what I want to do in Alice, and have no idea when or if we'll get a spare. If I can't find one  considering sending someone to 11 mile car wreckers in Winnelle near Darwin and getting it sent down!

So as the song goes, I hope I won't spend 24 years, living next door to Alice Springs. With my car being fixed at a breakers yard who's boss in in the slammer for reasons unknown.

The room I'n in the yha has no windows but is other wise very pleasant. The other denizens are, if anything, less tidy than me. A sign no adorns the door reading. "THIS ROOM IS NOT THE TODD RIVER". Nice.