Being sick is no fun, I have the mother of all colds. This means I'm at Matt's and watching telly. Daytime telly. Did I mention the Oprah house. Not a typo. Oprah Winfrey is in Australia guess where she did her shows?

Thank god I missed that. Now let me describe Aussie telly. You've seen skippy? and Neighbours. They're the highlights. The rest is either sports, crappy morning shows that are blatant info- commercials and sport, oooh yeah lots of sport.

The rest they import, BBC, CH4 (not ITV, bad it might be but even the Ausie's aren't that desperate). Unfortunately they import American comedies. Why can't the American's be funny? Well obviously they can, but the "big" "famous" etc shows are not funny. If I have to listen to another laughter track that's screams like a raped cat when Charlie Sheen walks on screen in 2.5 men I will kill someone.

Another Aussie Prime Time import "That 70s Show"
WITHOUT the laughter track, laugh if you can

Its not funny just because you put a laughter track across the top of it, and what a laughter track. Some comedy shows have live audiences. Mock the Week, Have I got news for you etc. The people actually laugh. Some shows warm and audience up, play the TV show and record the Audience. Red Dwarf was part live audience part this method - obviously.

How the hell does two and a half men do it? I swear they record a CIA water boarding session and play it back over the characters walking around the set.

After buying Matt a plastic Owl as sea gul repellent for his boat. Obviously hiding it in the Shower so scare Mei was a bonus. Having posted this on Twitter and FB the immediate response was the posting of a Fast Show video (You Tube here), which had me in stitches. I have seen many funny clips posted on FB etc to illustrate a point but never Friends. That 70s show, the late show or two and a half braincells. I my self, despite the miserable snot fest that is my life, managed to cheer my self up. By looking up the Young Ones "Sick" and watching Nigel Planer in his dirty y-fronts with a bin liner on his head to contain the snot as Adrian Edmonson gives him acupuncture with 6 inch nails.

In pubs I and many others shout "I am the baby eating bishop of bath and wells","suits you" or "he's not the messiah he's a very naughty boy". To quite Not the Nine O'clock News "When ever 2 or more art gathered together they shall perform the dead parrot sketch" In 20 years time (or even now) do Americans wander round quoting two and a half men or that 70s show? I bet they don't.

How come (like the UK) Scrubs is on late night on an obscure channel, a genuinely funny, clever American sitcom. With I might add, no laughter track. While that 70s show is on prime time on mainstream telly? The Americans can be funny (my Name is Earl etc) but why two and a half men? A brief google will show I'm not alone in my laughter track hatred.

End Rant.