The Terror of Nakara NT 0810

Tonight the League of Burmese Trombonists present a best seller play entitled.

The Terror of Nakara NT 0810

Scene One an air conditioned bunker in Mumbai, rows of desks, like the banks or oars on a trireme line the floor. Suited figures behind mirrored glass watch over them and the large wall mounted displays.

Half way along row 47b a small light winks from green to amber. The operator fingers his hard won PHD and looks nervous. At the end of the row, a yellow beacon starts to rotate. In the gallery on the floor above, a nervous suit starts ushering out those with visitors passes around their neck.

In a bank in suburb that Tom would normally not been seen dead in the fan in the redundant power supply in a cisco router clicks slowly to a halt, there is total silence. Except for the floor polisher.

Scene two an IT Company in Sydney.

A phone rings, an extremely well qualified but heavily accented voice tries to explain that there's a problem in Nakara! The man from Sydney call HQ in Melbourne, who calls Brisbane to see if there's a spare PSU in the NT. Who wakes my collogue up. God knows what he was doing in bed at 9PM on a Saturday night, bit that his problem. 

 Oh God Brisbane realises there's only one PSU in all of the NT. he drags out the dispatcher get a PSU on a plane now.

Deep in a shed in Darwin Tom cracks another cold one and tries not to get dragged into the French backpackers drinking games. He sleeps the sleep of the Dead. Only being awakened on Sunday morning by the missed call he slept though. He calls back, "yes that's the address, same address you always post to", "Oh good my colleague and my boss said the same thing when you spoke to them well done!"

By now I am wide awake, emails are notificationing me, the Nimitz class Carrier "George Bush" that was innocently handing out gold plated colt .45s and medals to the Dictator of the small but oil rich republic of Bongo Bongo land is already 500nm offshore, her non nuclear escorts trailing in her wake.

Putin is looking at grainy thermal satellite images of the Pacific, fingers jab through the cigarette smoke at the angry heat blobs of an American carrier group at flank speed. The Doomsday clock is moved another minute to midnight.

Meanwhile back in Darwin a closed bank (is F*&king Sunday - try getting hold of your bank on Sunday, all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't do it!). Totally oblivious. Not to mention un-effected.

Tom bravely ignores the blaring air raid warnings and goes sailing.

Scene Three Darwin in the Build up.

Monday Dawns, no banks routers are effected, outrages are agreed from India to Brisbane, all leave is cancelled Vera Lyn is disinterred re-animated using voodoo and forced to sing Bluebirds over the white cliffs of Dover, the USS battleship Missouri is re-commissioned* for the third time and puts to sea.

The Power Supply is not here yet, hey its Darwin, the bank is STILL oblivious. Changing the Power supply requires an outage. So 5pm job is scheduled. Munckin here rocks up and nobody expects him. No one told the bank.

I have a friend in Minsk,
Who has a friend in Pinsk,
Whose friend in Omsk,
Has friend in Tomsk,
With friend in Akmolinsk,
His friend in Alexandrovsk,
Has friend in Petropavlovsk,
Whose friend somehow
Is calling now
Some F&^%ing call centre in India.

They didn't understand a word I said, but I had fun filling out the health and saftey forms and playing with the pencils on the bench there.

Ha ha! - begins the fun.
From Dnepropetrovsk
To Petropavlovsk,
By way of Iliysk,
And Novorossiysk,
To Alexandrovsk to Akmolinsk
To Tomsk to Omsk
To Pinsk to Minsk
To me the news will run,
Yes, to me the news will run!
The warning light has gone out!

Tom Sounding unceasingly like Major Bloodnok from the the Goons hears the story of the floor polisher tripping the power, and exits stage right to the Pub.

In the bunker in Mumbai in row 47b a man is stripped of his PHD and marched out and crucified, Life of Brian style. Another SLA is voloated by an uncaring customer who has the audacity not to work weekends. Chorus of Bank Mangers, IT Techs Dispatchers, call centre slaves, Territorians, New South Welshmen and all sing "all ways look on the bright side of life".

* The other 2 being "The Seige" with Steven Segal, and "Battleship 2012" with a slightly ashamed Liam Neeson combined them you get a one star movie!